State of my State

Two posts in under 24 hours?! I know it is exciting.

Key points:

• Work is overwhelming
• I’m trying to figure out what to do next
• Dealing with Dad’s death doesn’t go away
• Training is intense

Work is exhausting right now. We’re moving onto a new financial system, which requires us to go through multifarious training courses – many with nothing to do with our specific roles in the company. Not only am I endlessly clicking through purchasing training, but I am also the POC for Goods Receipt and P-Cards during the Costpoint Conversion. That means I get to take training for 3 positions, instead of just one, and respond to everyone’s emails about their GR/PCard issues. Lucky me. In the meantime, I also have to find time for daily functions. Lately many of the offsite projects I support seem to be in a horrible mood (most likely due to the upcoming conversion) and attempt to drag me down as well. Oh, and to round out my bitching about work, I’m most likely losing my job anyways… I’ll find out the week before Ironman Lake Placid. Well, I’m not so much “losing my job”; my job is moving, and I won’t be moving with it. No hate to Oak Ridge, but its just not my style.

Which brings me to what I’m doing with my life. I have some good leads on jobs in the area that I will pursue once I have my separation date. The question becomes, do I want to stay in the DC area? Its been a great place for the past 2 years. But, I’m young and unattached… I should get out and see new places, right? Ideally, I’ll land a job that requires a good deal of travel (dreaming of a job like Ray's, sending me all across the world to do presentations, but realistically just hoping to travel a bit in the US) and I could stay right where I’m at living-wise. But, should I move to another area? California to be with a number of my friends? Hawaii to enjoy the amazing weather? Up and change countries for a hot minute? Who knows, but its got me thinking a lot. Luckily I won’t have to make these decisions until sometime after Ironman.

I just passed the 6 month mark from my dad’s death. It’s hard to believe that 6 months have passed. I have my good days and I have my bad. I’ll go a week or two without even thinking about it, and then it will consume my every thought. I ran across the adjacent picture when looking for something else on my camera. The flags at my dad’s work flew at half-staff the week my dad died through his funeral. I’m glad I caught a few pictures of the two flags flying with the trucks in the background (the closest truck being the first color scheme that they had when Dad started, and the subsequent trucks being the new line that came out a few years ago). The 6th month mark fell exactly as it did in December; he fell on Tuesday the 9th, and we removed the life support on Thursday, December 11th (actually, that's when the hospital declared him as no longer a patient… he stayed on life support until Friday for organ donation). June 9th was a Tuesday, so the week repeated itself. Last week was a very hard week… and to be honest, I feel like I floated through the week oblivious to anything around me. I shut my office door and cried almost every day. I went home and laid in bed, skipping many of my workouts. My body may not have needed the break, but it was precisely what my mind needed. I had a good weekend, until mom mentioned my aunt had a buyer for Dad’s car. I was speechless. She didn’t even tell me she was thinking about selling it. Last I knew, my brother was taking it. He decided he didn’t want it, and my mom has a hard time looking at it every time the garage opens. I get that, I’m sure its hard. But I was crushed that she didn’t even bother to check to see what I thought. I’m considering buying his car to tie me over until my next car purchase, but I haven’t made a decision. We both had 2002 ZX2’s – his navy, manual, and has a sunroof, mine – silver, automatic, and has about 45,000 more miles. I remember going home one weekend and asking my dad what he knew about the Mazda 3 5-doors, because I thought that was going to be my next car. He just started laughing and said “I’ve been looking at them lately too, and decided that its the next car I want”. He went into a long discussion comparing the Mazda 3 to the others in that same class, and why it was, in his opinion, the best choice. I’ve got my eye on the 2010’s, but will most likely wait until early next year (read: price drop because I’m poor).

Training has been intense for Ironman. Of course it has been.. its for Ironman. I’m often tired from training, and maybe even slightly grouchy because I can never eat enough. After the below outlined Mooseman Fail, I was very concerned about my ability to do Lake Placid; not because of the physical requirements, but the mental. After recovering, I’m ready to tackle it. I didn’t quit at Mooseman, so it must be a good sign. This weekend is the peak of training – 2 hour swim, 20 mile run, 120 mile bike. Bring it on.

Well, maybe. I have to have some medical tests run on Friday. Report to follow.