Wreaths Across America

I took a bit of a self-imposed hiatus of contact from most everyone I know during the month of December for reasons I'll get into in the next post. One thing I meant to get up before the disconnect was an entry about Wreaths Across America.

December 11th was the one year anniversary of my dad's death. The 11th proved to be far less difficult than the 9th; the day that he actually fell, but it was still hard. Lucky for me (though most others would think it was an unlucky coincidence) I was laid off on the 11th. No panicking necessary - I knew my last day with SAIC was December 11th since about June of this year. I ended up taking the afternoon of the 10th and the entire day of the 11th off, and convinced my mom to book a one way ticket to DC on the 10th. She needed a distraction from the clock, or she'd have sat around watching the moments tick by, knowing exactly what happened. Besides, Akron is gloomy, and at least DC had an abundant amount of sunshine those few days. We drove back on the morning of the 11th, and my sister met us at the house as well. Spirits were high, and we knew we were about to do a good thing in the morning.

Around October, I heard a radio spot for Wreaths Across America. The ad called for volunteers and online wreath donations to help the annual decoration of Arlington National Cemetery. A bit of history about the program from the website:

The Arlington Wreath program was started by Morrill Worcester (Worcester Wreath) in 1992 with the donation and laying of 5000 Christmas wreaths to Arlington National Cemetery. This became an annual journey for Mr. Worcester. Read more about this in the History of Arlington.

It was relatively obscure until 2005 when a photo of the stones adorned with wreaths and covered in snow circulated around the internet. The project received National attention. Thousands of requests poured in from all over the country from people wanting to emulate the Arlington project at their National and State cemeteries spurred the creation of “Wreaths Across America”. Unable to donate thousands of wreaths to each state, Mr. Worcester conceived the idea of sending 7 wreaths (one for each branch of the military as well as POW/MIA). In 2006 with the help of the CAP and other civic organizations, over 150 locations held wreath laying ceremonies simultaneously.

Since then, it has grown to include shipments and donations to many National Cemeteries. I saw the date was December 12th, and was a bit bummed that I wouldn't be able to help, as I knew I'd be home in Ohio at Ohio Western Reserve National Cemetery where Dad is buried. I continued reading through the webpage and saw that wreaths could be donated directly to the participating cemetery of choice, so I bought a few for OWRNC, and forwarded the link to my mom. My sister also wanted to help, so I contacted the coordinator to set us up as volunteers for wreath laying.

We woke up the morning of and began to pile layers on. Western Reserve sits at the top of a good-sized hill, and is often quite windy. Despite the sunlight pouring through the windows, we knew we were in for a cold morning. Sometimes pictures are better than words, so I'll let them do the story telling:

Folks from the local Rolling Thunder Chapter. Those in DC - this is the
group that comes in force on Memorial Day on thousands of motorcycles.
Good group of people - they were the main volunteers at the wreath laying, and do so every year.

My sister laying a wreath

Bundled up and laying a wreath on a strangers grave.

Mom (the blue Eskimo) and Doug, Board Member of the local
Rolling Thunder, Marine, and worked with Dad for years.
Talking about how much Dad is missed around the CCX Terminal.

The off-center stick in the previous picture is
actually this little verse called "The Title". Doug came out
on the Marine Corps Anniversary and put these on the graves of those
who were Marines. Somehow it got pushed off-kilter a bit,
and then froze that way. Click to zoom.

Miss you, Dad.

After the wreaths were laid, at 12pm across the country all participating groups have a service honoring those who served and who gave their lives for our country. At Western Reserve, there's a flagpole in the center of the cemetery with large circular logos around the base for each branch of the armed forces. A member of each branch laid a wreath on their logo as the honors were read for the particular branch.

I can't say that it eased the pain of remembering what we went through last year, but I can say that it warmed the heart a bit to know that maybe someone will come out and see a wreath was laid on their loved one's headstone.

Gone, but never forgotten.

Some days are just hard.

Its my blog and I can cry if I want to.

I don't know how people who cry about anything are able to continue functioning in life. I'm not one to cry often, but when I do, I feel like it sucks every last drop of energy out of me, and leaves me with a tear-hangover. My eyes are all puffy the next day and I feel like shit. Seriously, I don't know how the criers of the world do it.

It's been a rough day. I wanted to go out running this evening because the weather was PERFECT for running, but I was just mentally exhausted. I did some shopping for my sister's wedding, finding bridesmaids necklaces and such.. and it just really hits hard when I stop and realize that Dad's never going to see any of this.. that he's never going to even meet whoever I end up marrying (if that happens), and it just spirals downward from there. Theres no other words than "it sucks". Oh, and "its not fair".

Hopefully the run later today and tomorrows ride go well. I'm looking forward to them.

Rest in Peace...

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. What does, makes others realize how strong they can be.

I’ve had quite an absence on my blog lately. To be honest, I haven’t really had much to say. Shock would be the best emotion to describe. Its been a hard few weeks.

On Tuesday, December 9th, my dad fell off the back of the semi while making a delivery (he was a truck driver for Conway Freight), or at least that’s what we think happened – the whole thing is still going through attorneys since it’s workmen’s comp. He must have had a box of lights or something in his hands (he was delivering to Whitmers Lighting in Akron) because he didn’t brace his fall at all, and hit directly onto the back of his head. He wasn’t on a loading dock, so it was a good 10+ foot fall. He immediately was unconscious, though regained slight consciousness in the ER and was very combative, so they sedated and intubated him while they got a cat scan and stitched up his head. He never opened his eyes, but his blood pressure showed he would respond to pain. Wednesday morning around 2-3am, he stopped being responsive and his pupils dilated out. He’d still cough on occasion with the tubes in his throat, but that stopped around 4pm. The neurosurgeon put a “bolt” into his head, which reads the inner-cranial pressure, around 5pm… told us “he’s in very serious condition.. he has a few hours, maybe a day to live” and walked out. Excellent bedside manners. Normal cranial pressure is 8-10… dads was 130 (mental retardation sets in around 45-50). We decided against pulling the life support on Wednesday since we were all drained. After talking that night, we realized we hadn’t even seen the cat scans or anything, so we had another cat scan ordered (so we could compare days 1-3), and the EEG for brain activity. There wasn’t any brain activity, and the cat scans were a mess. His skull was split all the way from his eyebrow to the back of the head, and the central divide between the halves of the brain were more in an S shape instead of a straight line from all the swelling. There was heavy bleeding in the front too. They did the final apnea test at 1:30 on Thursday (pull the machine to see if he could breath on his own), and he failed that, so it was official. Talk about sudden. We had calling hours on Monday night, and a full military funeral on Tuesday (dad was a Vietnam vet – marines.), and had him buried at Western Reserve National Cemetery, since its one of a few military cemeteries in the country that allows non-military spouses.

I’m sad my dad unknowingly canceled the plans we had for the weekend following his accident. He was going to come out to DC, go to my tri team’s holiday brunch, help me move, take me to get my wires cut off.. I wanted it to be a great weekend. I wanted to spend time with my dad since I don’t often have a chance for it to just be him and I. I guess I’m the most upset that he unknowingly canceled plans of the rest of our lives. He was supposed be at the finish line at Lake Placid to give me a huge hug. He was supposed to walk my sister down the aisle 2 weeks after LP, after celebrating his 60th birthday. He was supposed to go to work following these events, and tell every person he came in contact with about how proud he was of his children, just like he always did. He was supposed to be around for so much more.

It was incredibly moving to see the number of lives my dad had touched. He was an amazing person, and it showed by the number of people we had never even known, be brought to tears over my dad’s death. He was a simple, hardworking man that liked to see people smile.

Miss you daddy.